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Linux Humor

Postby rockingmtranch » Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:26 pm

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Last edited by rockingmtranch on Thu Apr 17, 2008 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby rockingmtranch » Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:31 pm

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Here little butterfly....
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Postby rockingmtranch » Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:31 pm

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Postby rockingmtranch » Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:26 pm

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"


http://linuxgazette.net/issue45/orr.html
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Postby rockingmtranch » Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:40 pm

Here are the six relations between sex and Linux:

1. Sex is like candy. The more you have it, the more you like it. Linux is also like candy. The more you use it, the more you fall in love with it.
2. The first time you have sex, your spouse complains because you are persistent. Same way, when you start using Linux, your spouse again complains because now you are negligent (to her).
3. It is prudent to practice safe sex the same way as it is safer to use a robust firewall in Linux.
4. Sex is pervasively practiced the world over. Linux is slowly getting there bit by bit.
5. It is alright to have sex any number of times as long as it is with your life partner. Similarly, you can install Linux any number of times as long as it is on your machine and not your colleague's. And finally ...
6. Using sex and Linux together in a sentence is nice because they rhyme.

http://linuxhelp.blogspot.com/2006/03/h ... x-and.html

:rotf:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:42 pm

Linux Loving Men Are Sexier

by Andrea W. Cordingly, for reallylinux.com HUMOR MIXED WITH REALITY section.

No one had broached the subject. My inquiries with girlfriends and colleagues led me down a path into a revealing and sensual world as yet undiscovered. Or at least, as our senior editor put it, "one that few have had the chutzpah to print."

I discovered intimate bedroom secrets of why some women are explicitly attracted to those lovable fellows who prefer the penguin, and I'm not talking about some strange sex toy.

I'm talking about Linux.

"Passion," was a common response among the women I spoke with. Men who tend to use and enjoy Linux have a built in passion.

"All that passion is going to burst out," says one of my friends. She thinks her Linux loving husband has a natural excitement and that his enthusiasm for all things Linux often just flows out into other everyday activities.

She decided to combine his passions to see the result. You are warned not to try this experiment at home, unless you're an adult. One birthday she gave her "Linux man" a Linux Baby Doll T-shirt that she wore around the house with nothing else. It apparently combined two passions into an exploding inferno that I have to say makes me think about buying one as well.

http://www.reallylinux.com/docs/linuxlovingmen.shtml

:agre: :tu:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Sat Dec 08, 2007 4:41 pm

Please Submit your Open Source Resume in Word

I had email today from Studio B. Apparently they are looking for technical writers in some specific areas:

* Apache Derby
* Apache Geronimo
* XML and Ajax
* PHP
* Eclipse

I'm neither interested nor qualified (and if elected, I will not serve) but I had to raise my eyebrows at this kicker:

""If this is of interest, please submit your resume, in Microsoft Word format..""

Microsoft Word? I checked out Studio B's Contract Jobs page and found that "Microsoft Word" requirement to be pretty consistent.

Yeah, yeah, I know: it's the way of the world, live with it, yeah, yeah. But sheesh: they are looking for Open Source tech writers. One would assume that they'd like to have well experienced writers, people who really know their stuff.

Free clue for Studio B: some of those people don't own Microsoft Word and aren't going to raise a finger to put something in a Microsoft format.

Oh sure, Linux folk CAN output in Word format. That's not the point. The question is rather "Do they want to?" The answer to that is certainly close to 100% "No". Some of them would much rather use some other word processor, some have their resumes on-line in HTML, and others can't imagine what makes you so stupid that you couldn't cut and paste text from an email if Word is so damn important to you.

I suggest that the better Open Source writers should send their resumes to Studio B.

In LaTeX dvi format, of course.

:rotf:
http://aplawrence.com/Linux/open_source_resume.html
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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Dec 12, 2007 10:37 am

Overheard in a software shop:

* Woman #1: "What this Linux thing?"
* Woman #2: "It's a program that if you have it on your computer, you can't turn the computer off."
* Woman #1: "Oh."

* Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
* Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
* Tech Support: "What program is it?"
* Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
* Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
* Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."

My father decided that it would be a nice surprise to install Windows 95 on my seven year old computer. He had one of his employees give him step-by-step written instructions but neglected to mention that my computer is so old. When I got home he had Windows 95 installed and was struggling to install the first piece of software.

* My Dad: "It says there's insufficient disk space. How much stuff to you have on the hard drive?"
* Me: "It was almost full. You shouldn't have been able to get Windows 95 on there."
* My Dad: "Well, I just followed these instructions."

I looked at the instructions and saw that he had backed up everything and wiped the hard drive.

* Me: "If you followed these instruction properly, the only thing on the hard drive should be Windows 95. How much space does that take up?"
* My Dad: "It doesn't take up any space. It's an operating system."
* Me: "No, it takes up a lot of space, and it shouldn't even be able to fit on this computer."
* My Dad: "No, you don't know what you're talking about. The problem is that you have too many files. You have to delete some of them."
* Me: "You already deleted all my files. They're on that stack of disks now."
* My Dad: "Yes, and those disks are taking up too much space."


* Woman 1: "What is that little trash can on the screen?"
* Woman 2: "My son says that is call the 'recycle bin'. He tells me when I don't want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there."
* Woman 1: "Why in the recycle thingy? Can't you just erase it?"
* Woman 2: "Oh no, Word wouldn't work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages."
* Woman 1: "Why?"
* Woman 2: "Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That's why it's called the recycle bin."

(Ok, I know they are not all Linux but hey, using Linux is no laughing matter) :rotf:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:10 pm

* Me: "The ethernet card you supplied doesn't work under Linux."
* Tech Support: "Have you installed the DOS drivers?"
* Me: "I'm using Linux, so the DOS drivers won't work."
* Tech Support: "Why not?"

:roll:

I had a problem with using my PPP connection through Linux. The data transfers were really slow sometimes but fine at others. I played with it for a while, then finally called the help desk. I was on hold for twenty minutes, then:

* Tech Support: "Hi. How can I help you?"
* Me: "Hi. I'm trying to hook up my Linux box via PPP, and I'm running into some problems. It works fine under 95, but I can't seem to get it to connect right under Linux. I can resolve hostnames and even --"
* Tech Support: "Um, sir -- what kind of computer is it?"
* Me: "IBM compatible. Specifically, an Ambra."
* Tech Support: "Ok -- what happens when you try running Trumpet Winsock?"

I slap my forehead.

* Me: "This is Linux. It doesn't run Trumpet Winsock."
* Tech Support: "Oh - it's a DOS program?"
* Me: "No. It's an operating system. Trumpet runs fine under 95."
* Tech Support: "Well, have you tried running this program under Windows 95 then?"
* Me: "No, it is an operating system. It doesn't run under another operating system."
* Tech Support: "Oh. Ok, so what happens when you try to run Winsock under it?"

Murderous thoughts are going through my head. After a couple more exchanges back and forth, she finally understands that Winsock won't run on Linux for some weird reason.

* Me: "So can I get an incident number so I can talk to a tech?"
* Tech Support: "Sure. I just need to get some info from you."

She gets down my name, room number, phone number, computer type and brand, then we get interesting again.

* Tech Support: "Ok, so is this under Windows 3.1 or Windows 95?"
* Me: "Neither. It's Linux."
* Tech Support: "Which type of Windows does it run under though?"
* Me: "Neither! It runs on its own!"
* Tech Support: "Oh!!! Oh! I'm sorry, in that case we can't help you. We only support Windows 3.1 and Windows 95."
* Me: "WHAT?!?"
* Tech Support: "Sorry. That's all we're currently supporting. Have a nice day." [click]
:0!:
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Postby JeanInMontana » Wed Dec 12, 2007 12:59 pm

:rotf: These are great Mac!! I particularly like the airline analogy.
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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Dec 19, 2007 10:57 pm

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(I put this one because I haven't seen that little red x in sooooooooooooo long) 8) :o 8)
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Postby rockingmtranch » Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:01 pm

F*cking programming
Written on December 17, 2007. Written by Ben Orenstein.

Yesterday I stumbled onto a delightful tool from Google Labs: Code Search.

Turns out Google is now crawling through source code. The GoogleBot, in its never-ending quest for sentience, searches inside tars, zips, and even dives into CVS and Subversion repositories. As Code Search is targeted at programmers, you can perform fantastically powerful queries using POSIX extended regular expressions.

Granted access to billions of lines of code and the awesome power of Google’s search technology, I did what any rational, thinking programmer would do: I typed in some profanity and hit enter.

In tribute to the valiant struggles of coders everywhere, please enjoy:

The best in programming profanity

(not suitable for those who don't enjoy Quentin Tarantino dialog)

http://codeulate.com/?p=7

:shock: :rotf:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:44 pm

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Linux. Don't fight it. You will be assimilated.
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Postby rockingmtranch » Sat Jan 05, 2008 2:28 pm

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Hacker Christmas present
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< Linux XP - a joke becoming reality? >

Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:32 am

Before reading the following article, please note: This "article" is a JOKE and has absolutely nothing to do with the real Linux XP distro. I have never used Linux XP myself and have absolutely no idea what that distro is like. I wrote this joke article many years ago, when there was no Linux distro called "Linux XP." Therefore, this article has nothing to do with that distro. I could change the name of this article to Linux Vista or something, but I don't want to, because I used the name Linux XP first.

Somewhere around the beginning of 2000, when I wrote this joke, Linux wasn't so popular on the desktop. The following imaginary "features" of Linux seemed so outrageous in the Linux world they actually made people chuckle. These days, many Linux distributors are actually aiming at some of the features I listed here, such as having root permissions all the time and not having to use the command line.

Because this imaginary Linux distro was supposed to be a weird result of adding Windows features into Linux, I wanted to name my imaginary distro after a Microsoft OS. First, I tried the name Lindows, but when I googled it up just to be sure, there already was a real distro named like that! I had to come up with another name, so I picked Linux XP. While googling it up, the name Linux XP didn't seem to be taken by any real distro, so I used it instead of Lindows. To be frank, I didn't believe anyone would actually name a real distro like that.

I can't believe there actually is a distro named Linux XP these days. Judging by the feedback I'm getting, many people have recently started taking this article seriously. Some time ago, most of the tuXfiles visitors realized this article was a joke because the features of this "Linux distro" were so outrageous. Not anymore. These days, the features of this "distro" actually seem real.

Like I already said, I know I could rename this imaginary Linux distro. For example, Linux Vista sounds cool. However, I don't want to. I used the name Linux XP before anyone knew anything about a real distro named like that. Besides, if such names as Lindows and Linux XP actually became reality, I'm sure there will be a real distro named Linux Vista in a couple of years, anyway.

I want to keep this article here for nostalgy reasons. It's actually pretty frightening to see your own joke becoming actual reality.
< Linux XP, the distro with Clippy >

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce a new and improved Linux distribution, Linux XP! It is the distribution that has all the most popular features of Windows, combined with the stability of Linux. Here are some of the special features of Linux XP:

Ease of use. One of the reasons why Windows is so popular is its ease of use. Some innovative improvements have been made to Linux XP. For example, many users find the permissions confusing, because it's weird that a normal user can write to only one directory. It's also confusing that only the root user can install new software. Linux XP doesn't have this permission problem, because every user on this new and improved distribution has the same rights as root. This leads to increased security, because now the user doesn't have to log in as the root user at all!

No command line. The command line is often confusing people, and it looks too much like MS-DOS, so Linux XP doesn't have a command line at all! The X Window System starts up automatically when the system boots up, the user won't be able to switch to another virtual terminal, and there are no terminal emulators whatsoever. This has two advantages. First, the user doesn't have to even see the command line which would look like old and obsolete DOS. Second, when the X Window System crashes, the whole Linux system becomes unusable because the user can't go to the command line. This will force the user to press the computer's Reset button, thus giving him the same feel as in Windows.

Improved BSOD. The BSOD is one thing that a Windows user sees regularly, and it may be hard to get used to the fact that there are no BSOD's in Linux. But Linux XP has it's own improved BSOD that occurs every time the kernel crashes, and because the Linux XP's BSOD has a beautiful shaded background, it's even more pleasant to watch than its Windows equivalent. Of course Linux XP uses its own modified Linux kernel, with a new code that makes the operating system crash randomly.

Clippy. Since many users migrating from Microsoft Office will miss Clippy, Linux XP has its own version of Clippy: Tuxedo, a cute penguin character that looks like Tux. Our customers can be confident that Tuxedo will be even more helpful than Clippy. For example, when the user opens a wordprocessor, Tuxedo suggests websites that teach how to read and write. And when the user moves the mouse, Tuxedo tells the user what is a mouse, how it is used, and displays a mouse tutorial.

Advanced file management. In other Linux distributions, it's easy to accidentally overwrite or delete an important file, without the chance to undo the changes. In Linux XP's new graphical file manager the risk of doing this unfortunate mistake is smaller. For example, when the user deletes a file, Linux XP will show a dialog asking: "Do you really want to delete this file?" If the user clicks OK, another dialog says: "If you delete this file, it will be removed from your system. Proceed?" If the user clicks OK, another dialog informs: "If you remove this file, you won't be able to view or execute it anymore. Are you sure?" If the user still clicks OK, another dialog says: "Removing this file may affect other files on your system. Do you want to continue?" If the user clicks OK again, a dialog asks: "Are you sure you want to delete this file?" If the user clicks OK, the file manager will move the file to Trash and Tuxedo pops up telling the user that he's removed the file and he won't be able to view or execute it again, unless he wants to restore it from Trash.

Beautiful desktop. Linux XP uses a modified version of KDE, with look and feel similar to Windows XP, except that the window decorations are cuter, the buttons are more round, and the icons are bigger. Click here to see a screenshot of Linux XP with the default "So easy even a child can use it" theme. The default installation of Linux XP contains the Barbie, Candy, Teletubbies, and Sickbag themes, and our customers can easily download more themes from the Linux XP's website.

Improved virus and worm support. The unfortunate fact is that there are many viruses for Windows but very few for Linux. Linux XP has a special support for Windows viruses, which means that Windows viruses can damage a Linux XP system just as much as they damage Windows! This makes users who migrate from Windows really feel like home. The new Outlook compatible mail client for Linux XP ensures the easiest and most efficient way of getting infected by new viruses and forwarding them to all of the user's friends. When a Linux XP system gets infected by a virus, a dialog box is displayed with a progress bar and the informative text "Please wait while your system is being damaged." At the same time some relaxing music is played in order to make sure the waiting is as pleasant as possible, since the process may take a while, depending on the virus.

Trojan Horse downloads. The Linux XP's website has huge software download archives, and the users can easily download many different Trojan horses to their system. And because every normal user on a Linux XP system has the same rights as the root user, our customers can be confident that the damages caused by Trojans are maximized on a Linux XP system, thus letting the users experience exciting moments.

Cracker friendly. Because it is very easy to crack a Windows system, we have realized that most Windows users would feel trapped if they used a normal Linux installation. Fortunately, the new Linux XP has a security system which makes sure that every possible port on a Linux XP system is open. If this isn't enough, we also have a "Cracker Invite Wizard" which walks the user through an easy procedure where he can define how, when and how often he wants the system to be cracked. As a new feature in the latest version of the Cracker Invite Wizard the user can also enable the "Script Kiddie" option and define the age range he prefers, and the Cracker Invite Wizard automatically generates scripts and little programs based on the user's preferences and sends them to the creative and talented members of the "1337 Linux XP 5cr1p7 k1dd13z community".

New marketing strategy. The marketing strategy of Linux XP is new and innovative. We have currently sued every other company and organization that maintains and develops other Linux distributions, because the usage of the word "Linux" may cause confusion between Linux XP and other Linux distributions. We have also sued Microsoft for using the letters XP in their products, because it can lead to a confusion between Linux XP and Windows XP. Because of these lawsuits, Linux XP will be very soon the only operating system available, and every user will have a compatible environment.

We keep you up-to-date! Our new licensing policy helps you to have only the latest software on your system, thus being always up-to-date. When you buy Linux XP for only $1000, you'll get the right to use it for one year. After the period has expired, you'll have to buy the newest version of Linux XP and another one-year-license for $1000. If you don't buy, you'll have to pay $1700 the next time you upgrade, instead of $1000. As you can see, this new licensing policy encourages our customers to upgrade constantly. And because every new version of Linux XP has greater hardware requirements, you'll have to buy new hardware every time you upgrade your software, so you have not only the latest Linux XP but also the latest hardware!

If you know some advanced features that we should add to Linux XP, please contact us and we'll consider your suggestion. Thank you, we appreciate your feedback.

http://www.tuxfiles.org/linuxhelp/linux-xp.html

:linux:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:37 pm

How many microsoft programmers are needed to change a broken light?

None, they make dark the new standard.


The box said "Windows 98 or better" - so I installed Linux.


Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first programmer finishes, walks over to the sink to wash his hands.
He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.
Turning to the other two, he says, "At Microsoft, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.
He turns and says, "At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Sun, we don`t piss on our hands."

http://ubuntuforums.org/archive/index.php/t-135105.html
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Postby rockingmtranch » Tue Feb 12, 2008 11:05 pm

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Dear Windows, It's over

Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:50 pm

Dear Windows, It's over

Dear Windows Professional Service Pack 2:

I didn't want to tell you this in person, because I thought it might be too complicated, and might take too long. After all, we've been together for a long time, almost five years and running now. I know, I know. I know you so well; your control panel, your installation procedures, even when you get mad and go all blue screen on me; what can I say, you kinda grew on me.

But to be honest, things have been going downhill for a long time now. What happened to that lean, fast OS that i first installed? You know, the one that ran Civ 4, Vice City, and even True Crimes without a problem? The one that burned DVD's, CD's, the one that shared music with my xbox without a problem? I don't know. It seems like you've let go of yourself, to be honest. You take over 20 minutes to boot up, you run Civ4 slowly, heck, you even freeze up on me now when I try to watch video. What happened windows? Did you get so comfortable that you thought I'd just deal with it?

Well, I've been cheating. See, back in tenth grade, I messed around a bit with this chick, her name was Red Hat Linux. We met in school in my networking 5 class, and i got to know her pretty well. I was all up in her terminal, if you know what I mean :P. Well, I took her home, and we had a really rough one night stand. I decided she wasn't for me, and I went back to you, because I knew what I was missing. Well, Red Hat has a south African cousin, and her name's Ubuntu...she's kinda hot, too. She's got three cousins, Xubuntu, Edubuntu, and Kubuntu, too, and their all sexy.

Well, I guess this letter is to let you know that it's over. I'm not going back, either. You can tempt me with your games, and all the software, but it's alright. I can get to know ubuntu, I can learn to work her terminals. Her freeware. Her internet support. After all, what can I say...she's sexy, fast, and free. And you're expensive, bloated, and well, always sick with viruses. I'm done.

I know, I know. I freaked out and formatted you off my hard drive, and then I called you begging and pleading to take me back, and we had angry make up sex. But what was I thinking? I remembered all the bad times we had, and I called Ubuntu up and she understood me just fine. Before I knew it, we were hitting it off again. She installed really quickly, and didn't even need any drivers or anything. Worked beautifully. And did I remind you she's free? :P

So Windows Professional Service Pack 2, I'm leaving you for Ubuntu know. It's over, we had a good run, but all expensive, virus laden, bloated software relationships must come to an end, right? I guess that's just how it has to be.

Thanks for all the good times though! Nothing like a BSOD when I'm trying to watch a live debate on MSN or CNN, or crashing on me in the middle of civ4.


But I have to go now. It's time to get down and dirty with Ubuntu, and if I ever really miss you again, I'll just drink it away with some WINE.

Sincerely,

Bruno

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=4411307

:rotf:
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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:48 am

So, this one time at Bandcamp...........

http://bandcamp.tv/linux-demotivators/

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Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Apr 16, 2008 10:58 am

Easter Eggs in Linux?

apt-get command easter egg

Open your terminal and type the command:

apt-get moo

...."Have you mooed today?"...

Now try: aptitude -v moo

Output:

There really are no Easter Eggs in this program.

Now one more: aptitude -vv moo

Output:

Didn't I already tell you that there are no Easter Eggs in this program?

LMAO...keep adding v's and have fun. :D
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Re: Linux Humor

Postby rockingmtranch » Thu May 08, 2008 4:11 pm

Top Ten Reasons for a Linux Laptop

by Mark Rais, senior editor reallylinux.com

Here's another Linux Top Ten Countdown (from our Reality mixed with humor section). Some of these items appeared originally in my article for The Linux Journal (Dec 2007, Issue 164).

Hopefully, these tips will help settle once and for all why Linux is a perfect fit for any laptop.

NUMBER 10

You can avoid listening to monologues about the merits of Vista. As your colleague begins salivating about the many Vista features (read that as “bugs”), stop him cold by declaring, “I’m installing Linux.” You’ll have him running outside, yanking his hair and screaming expletives. The sight alone should be well worth it.

NUMBER 9

You can save yourself serious money, not only at the register but in years to come, avoiding paying for countless upgrades. For all of us paying the crazy food and fuel prices, this is a real easy way to save money.

As a salesman tries to convince you to pay for upgrades, simply smile and walk away. The power of Linux and a vast array of Open Source Software is available to you for free.

NUMBER 8

You will end the constant late night computer assistance calls from your “buddy.” He calls because “you’re the computer pro, right?” When he telephones you next, tell him, “Sorry, I use Linux.” You’ll never hear from him again. Even better, he will now start calling someone else with Vista and bug them! The pleasures with Linux laptops are endless.

NUMBER 7

You will love the look on your family’s face at the next birthday party, when Granny figures out how easy it can be to use Linux. Can you imagine everyone gathering around your laptop, as Granny cranks up the sound on Frozen Bubble and everyone starts to do the humpty-hump? Okay, maybe not. But there’s no better anecdote to help those boring family gatherings than a Linux game – and several rounds of bourbon.

NUMBER 6

You can indulge in the truth that Linux is a vital skill in nearly every country in the world. The average Linux System Administrator makes more money than a law enforcement officer on the tenth year of work and a nurse practitioner serving with your local hospital. Job security, money, and power attract people like a chocolate Sunday served with a cherry on top. Your Linux laptop is the cherry.

NUMBER 5

You will save yourself the hell of ever installing Microsoft software. Linux installation on a laptop will average about 28 minutes for a complete set up. Compare this to the installation of an upgrade of Vista on a WindowsXP laptop, which can take over two and half hours, and you’ll see why Linux on a laptop is not just a good idea, it is a massive time saver!

NUMBER 4

You can sleep more peacefully than most, since Linux on your laptop resolves many computer security concerns. Never again do you need to consider things like the Microsoft Vista Remote Code Execution Vulnerability, the threat of the GPCoder.h trojan, and the JS/Downloader-AUD malware. Okay, so not all of these reasons are funny, but they are important. Besides, you may get a good laugh when you hear what happens to the guy who didn't use Linux!

NUMBER 3

You can stop that annoying friend who is always asking to borrow your laptop to do this-and-that. The next time he comes over to ask if he can “just borrow the laptop to do some work,” simply switch the mode so that it defaults to the command line. Hand over the laptop and enjoy seeing his face as he asks what happened? As he walks away, never to be heard from again, switch back to KDE with Beryl.

NUMBER 2

You will see the raw power of Linux running on a laptop. Recently, a friend of mine connected his laptop that contained a mirror image of his company’s intranet site. As the computer team was dealing with a total outage of their intranet server, the site kept running with a simple DNS change. The boss asked him what server he was using to temporarily run the site. He simply pointed down to his laptop. Linux adds a real Nitrous Oxide injection to any laptop.

AND

The NUMBER 1 reason to put Linux on a laptop

Since Linux is now used in every country of the world, and you can start making new friends in places like Andorra, Eritrea, and Kyrgyzstan. Adding Linux on your laptop opens a whole new world of friendships and camaraderie. So, if for nothing else, install Linux on that laptop to gain access to one of the most supportive communities on earth.

http://www.reallylinux.com/docs/toptenlaptop.shtml
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Re: Linux Humor

Postby rockingmtranch » Mon Jun 30, 2008 10:53 am

Linux. Don't fight it. You will be assimilated.
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Re: Linux Humor

Postby rockingmtranch » Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:41 pm

Image
:rotf:
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Re: Linux Humor

Postby Pericoloso Sporgersi » Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:32 am

Fill in a caption of your choice.
(be patient, the animation will start in a moment and loops endlessly)

Image
<caption>


(Sorry, I don't know the animation's author, but I congratulate him/her nevertheless)
Image

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Re: Linux Humor

Postby JeanInMontana » Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:42 am

LOL :rotf:
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